The Coffee Buzz: You're Not Alone
11:15 AM
I think some of the saddest emails I've ever received are the influx of messages from MIT President Rafael Reif, always titled: "Sad news about a member of our community".
The emails: formulaic to a point where most of the time, we almost-disregard them for our more "important" emails about club meetings and office hours and classwork.
It's weird. The title of the emails are always the same, so despite skirting around the issue in the actual writing, we always know it was a suicide. And yet somehow, since we don't personally know the person, we remain unaffected - shrug it off, go back to our day.
Since arriving at MIT, I have heard of at least one suicide per school year. This most recent one, Phoebe ('17), is the fourth death since the beginning of the summer. Phoebe was the first undergraduate suicide since my stepping foot on campus. Phoebe was the first of which I actually kind of knew - someone who I had never met in person, but who was once a part of the MacGregor community and had emailed out to pub for events and look for pset buddies and had once lived just a couple yards down the hall, in a different entry, from me and some of my best friends.
This kind of situation - it's terrifying. The idea that I could possibly come home, or go check up on my friends, and find a shell of themselves left behind - the loss of their vibrancy, their enthusiasm, their love - I can't possibly even begin to fathom what that's like, what it's like for Phoebe's friends, for her suitemate who found her, for people who actually knew her well.
Guys - don't do that. Whatever it is that's making you feel lesser than you are, whatever it is that's weighing you down, don't let it - speak out. Tell your friends. It's not worth trying to hide it away, even though I know sometimes that's the easier thing to do. We're all human - we all fuck up and make mistakes and sometimes we feel like we're stuck in a deep ditch and we can't claw our way out - I know, I've felt like that too. But look around you - all the people around you who love you and will listen to you and care for you. But we can't help you if we don't know you're struggling. Tell your family; tell your friends; tell some stranger on the internet; anonymously message people and ask for help. You're not alone. You're never alone.
It's weird. The title of the emails are always the same, so despite skirting around the issue in the actual writing, we always know it was a suicide. And yet somehow, since we don't personally know the person, we remain unaffected - shrug it off, go back to our day.
Since arriving at MIT, I have heard of at least one suicide per school year. This most recent one, Phoebe ('17), is the fourth death since the beginning of the summer. Phoebe was the first undergraduate suicide since my stepping foot on campus. Phoebe was the first of which I actually kind of knew - someone who I had never met in person, but who was once a part of the MacGregor community and had emailed out to pub for events and look for pset buddies and had once lived just a couple yards down the hall, in a different entry, from me and some of my best friends.
This kind of situation - it's terrifying. The idea that I could possibly come home, or go check up on my friends, and find a shell of themselves left behind - the loss of their vibrancy, their enthusiasm, their love - I can't possibly even begin to fathom what that's like, what it's like for Phoebe's friends, for her suitemate who found her, for people who actually knew her well.
Guys - don't do that. Whatever it is that's making you feel lesser than you are, whatever it is that's weighing you down, don't let it - speak out. Tell your friends. It's not worth trying to hide it away, even though I know sometimes that's the easier thing to do. We're all human - we all fuck up and make mistakes and sometimes we feel like we're stuck in a deep ditch and we can't claw our way out - I know, I've felt like that too. But look around you - all the people around you who love you and will listen to you and care for you. But we can't help you if we don't know you're struggling. Tell your family; tell your friends; tell some stranger on the internet; anonymously message people and ask for help. You're not alone. You're never alone.
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